


Half Delirious

by lady_needless_litany



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:45:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_needless_litany/pseuds/lady_needless_litany
Summary: Hugh can't help worrying about his partner.





	Half Delirious

Hugh worries about Paul. Constantly. _You don’t care about you, but I do._

Since the development with the spore drive, he’s been different. Hugh insists on running a tricorder over him after every jump, much to Stamets’ frustration, checking for even the most minor warning sign.

But at the same time, he's shaken off the bitterness that had seemed to linger since the war began. Hugh can tell that he’s enraptured by the mycelium, by the things he sees when they jump — this is his life’s work, why wouldn't he be? He’s more friendly and more tactile, which are novelties, for sure, but it’s so...uncharacteristic. The man spends most of his time half delirious now, and there's no end in sight. Hugh can't help being concerned.

Tonight, as they go about their evening rituals, he tries to broach the subject (they haven't spoken about it, not since the first time); he finds that the words won't quite fall off the tip of his tongue.

It takes until he’s lying in bed, watching Stamets finishing the final few elements of his routine, for him to able to get something out. Even then, it's not perfect.

“I know that I've said this a thousand times today,” he says, studiously avoiding the other man’s eyes. “But how are you?”

“I'm _fine_ , dear doctor.” Stamets deposits himself on the bed with a _thunk_. “You can stop worrying.”

“No, I can't. You know that.”

A shrug, insouciant. “Yeah. But you shouldn't.” 

He thinks that pre-spore-drive Stamets would have replied with something snarkier, something teasingly sarcastic. That had always been their dynamic — loving, but always challenging, never letting each other get bored.

When Hugh doesn't reply, choosing instead to stare at the creased sheets between them, Stamets sighs and shuffles closer to him. “Honestly, I'm fine, the spore drive is functioning–”

“I don't care about the spore drive. I care about you.”

“I know. It's one of the reasons why I love you.” The serious statement is juxtaposed by the light kiss that the man bestows upon Hugh’s nose, an action that he’s sure is far too playful for his partner to usually undertake. It's cute, though, and utterly harmless, so he decides to drop the topic for now. 

One of them turns down the lights and they settle under the covers. Their bodies’ warmth radiates comfortingly. He can sense his partner’s proximity, is surrounded by the gentle scents of soap and mint toothpaste. It's domestic and reassuring and everything that they’ve not had since they’d boarded the _Discovery._

Even then, his thoughts will not quieten themselves.

They're jumping often — too often — multiple times a day and close together. He wishes that Lorca wouldn’t ask so much, even knowing that that is impossible. _I'm fighting a war, Doctor Culber,_ would be Lorca’s reply. _We don’t have a choice._

Hugh knows that.

Still, he can't shake the sense of impending doom. He can't help thinking that one day soon the _Discovery_ ’s frenetic chaos will have to slam to a halt. And he’s afraid that when it does, it will be because spore drive will have done something irreparable to the man that he loves.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: lady-needless-litany


End file.
